What Do Your Words Say?
Have you ever had someone promise you something, and you just knew they weren't going to follow through? Maybe they said "I swear on my mother's grave!" or "I promise by everything I hold dear!"
Here's the thing – when someone has to work that hard to convince you they're telling the truth, it might actually be a red flag.
The Problem with Promises
In Jesus' time, people had created this whole complicated system of making oaths. They'd swear by the temple, or by heaven, or by Jerusalem—anything to make themselves sound more trustworthy. And just like today, they'd look for loopholes. "Well, I swore by the temple, but not by the gold of the temple, so..."
Sound familiar?
We do the same thing:
- "I'm not lying—I just didn't tell you the whole truth."
- "I had my fingers crossed, so it doesn't count!"
- "Did you read the fine print?"
We want to appear trustworthy, but we also want an escape route. We want people to believe us, but we're not always ready to fully commit.
Matthew 5:33-37 (NIV)
33 “Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made.’ 34 But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all: either by heaven, for it is God’s throne; 35 or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. 36 And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37 All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.
In Matthew 5:33-37, Jesus cuts through all word-games that people wanted to play. He tells his followers to stop swearing by heaven, earth, or anything else. Why? Because it's all God's anyway. Heaven is his throne. Earth is his footstool. Even the color of your hair isn't under your control.
Instead, Jesus gives us beautifully simple instructions: "Let your yes be yes, and your no be no." In the original Greek the phrase literally tells us to be "yes-yes" people or "no-no" people. Or...be "yes-yes-n0-no" people.
That's it. No elaborate promises. No religious language to manipulate people. Just honest, straightforward words backed up by honest, straightforward actions.
Why This Matters Today
I'll be honest with you—I find these words challenging, as most people do. How many times have I shared something on social media without checking if it was actually true? How many times have I posted a meme because it sounded good or because I wanted it to be true?
When we do that, we're putting our name on information we haven't verified. We're becoming part of the problem.
There's an old saying: "A lie will go around the world while truth is still putting its boots on." In our age of instant communication, that's truer than ever. Falsehood travels at the speed of a click...while truth seems to lag far, far, far behind.
What Does Integrity Look Like?
Jesus isn't calling us to be perfect. He's calling us to be truthful. There's a difference.
He wants us to be people who:
- Mean what we say and say what we mean
- Follow through on our commitments (as far as it depends on us)
- Own up when we make mistakes
- Don't need elaborate promises because our track record speaks for itself
Imagine being known as someone whose word is gold. Imagine being part of a community where people know—barring natural disasters or unforeseen circumstances—you're going to do what you say you'll do. Imagine a world where everyone's word could be trusted in this way.
When Life Gets Complicated
Now, I know what you're thinking. Life is unpredictable. Sometimes things happen that are completely beyond our control. A job loss. An illness. A crisis. And suddenly, we can't keep a promise we genuinely intended to keep.
God sees our hearts. He knows the difference between someone who makes promises with no intention of following through and someone who sincerely wanted to keep their word but couldn't because of circumstances beyond their control.
Jesus isn't asking us to control every variable in life. That's impossible. He's asking us to be people of authentic integrity—people whose intentions are genuine and whose efforts are real.
Your Challenge This Week
I want to encourage you to pay attention to your words this week. Here are some questions to think about:
- Do I make small promises I don't intend to keep?
- Do I communicate clearly, or do I stay vague so I don't have to commit?
- Have I exaggerated or misrepresented something that I need to correct?
- Do I think before I commit, or do I over-promise and under-deliver?
- Do I use spiritual or religious language to avoid difficult conversations or get my own way?
The Best Yes of All
Here's something beautiful: while we struggle to be "yes-yes-no-no" people, God's promises are always yes in Jesus Christ.
Whatever you need today—love, belonging, forgiveness, peace, hope, a fresh start—the answer is yes in Jesus.
- Yes, you are loved.
- Yes, you belong.
- Yes, you are seen.
- Yes, forgiveness is available.
- \Yes, you can start over.
In a world full of spin, deception, and empty promises, we're called to be different. We're called to be people whose simple yes or no is enough. People who shine like lights in the darkness—not because we're perfect, but because we're truthful.
So let's be people whose word means something. Let's be people who don't need elaborate oaths or religious language to back up what we say. Let's be people whose yes is yes and whose no is no.
That's the kind of integrity that draws people to Jesus. And that's the kind of life worth living.
Reflection Questions & Application
1. Where do I add "extra" to make people believe me? When you tell someone something, do you find yourself saying things like "I swear" or "I promise, I really mean it this time"? Pay attention to when you feel the need to add extra words to convince someone. What does that tell you about how you've kept your word in the past?
2. What promises have I made that I haven't kept? Think back over the last month. Did you tell someone you'd text them back and didn't? Promise to help with something and forget? Say you'd show up somewhere and bail? Make a list—not to beat yourself up, but to see the pattern. What gets in the way of your follow-through?
3. If people described me in one word based on my reliability, what would they say? Be honest. Would your friends, family, or classmates use words like "trustworthy," "flaky," "dependable," or "unreliable"? If you're not sure, that might be worth asking someone you trust. The answer might surprise you—for better or worse.
Do Something About It
Pick ONE person you've let down and make it right this week.
Maybe you promised to help your friend study but never followed through. Maybe you told your parent you'd do a chore and kept putting it off. Maybe you said you'd be there for someone and weren't.
Choose one person. Reach out to them. Own what you didn't do. Don't make excuses—just be honest. Then ask if there's a way you can still make it right or do better going forward.
This isn't easy, but it's how we build a reputation of integrity—one honest conversation at a time.
Will you take the challenge? Let me know how it goes!
Help Do Everything In Love continue it's ministry by becoming a paid subscriber!
Steven E Fairbanks
Steven E Fairbanks
Member discussion